The Human Centipede (first sequence) - 2009 (Directed by Tom Six)

"A one-of-a-kind experience that is guaranteed to shock and divide audiences, Dutch filmmaker Tom Six's twisted biological horror film, "The Human Centipede" confidently goes where few films have dared to go. In addition to its shocking imagery, the film also features an indelibly villainous performance by Dieter Laser, whose brilliant and demented Dr. Heiter is sure to soon join the ranks of Freddy, Jason and Jigsaw whenever true horror icons are discussed.

During a stopover in Germany in the middle of a carefree road trip through Europe, two American girls find themselves alone at night when their car breaks down in the woods. Searching for help they find only an isolated villa, whose mysterious owner, Dr Heiter, takes them in for the night. The next day they awake to find themselves in the basement, trapped in a terrifying makeshift hospital with another one of the doctor's abductees. Dr Heiter explains to the three of them that he is retired surgeon who had specialized in separating Siamese twins. However his three "patients" are not about to be separated, but joined together in a horrific operation. He plans to be the first to connect people, one to the next, via their gastric system, and in doing so bring to life his sick lifetime fantasy: 'the human centipede'."

UNCUT TRAILER - IF YOU DARE




AB (via Bloody Disgusting.com)

Mum and Dad (2008) - Directed Steven Shiel

Mum & Dad’s opening title sequence, all jet planes and barbed wire fences, sets the film up as some kind of social-realist, state-of-the-nation, kitchen-sink mini epic. Which it sort of is. But it is also a visceral, nightmarish horror film which seizes on the blandness and anonymity of certain aspects of 21st century Britain and twists them into something utterly unforgettable. It’s all very Shane Meadows, right down to the casting of Meadows regular Perry Benson in the role of “Dad”. This particular actor is never going to be the next James Bond, but it’s to be hoped that he one day gets to play people who aren’t completely scuzzy and grubby and just plain revolting. Meanwhile, here he is, being all those things, and more.

The film’s plot involves a Polish immigrant working in an unnamed British airport. She is befriended by Birdie, a co-worker (played, not all that convincingly, by Ainsley Howard). It is all innocent enough, but there is an undercurrent of menace from the very beginning: Birdie’s questions are just a tad unsettling; her mute brother is also cause for concern, along with her habit of stealing things from the offices she’s supposed to be cleaning. At this point, the film could go either way. It could have been a larky little comedy-drama with a few salient points to make about the immigrant experience. Or, it could have been a nerve-shredding, wince-inducing freak-out, whose brief moments of humour are of the blacker-than-black variety.

Plan B, then. Because, make no mistake, Mum & Dad, for all its faults, is intense stuff. And intelligent stuff, too. The grimness and matter-of-fact horror is brutally effective. The little details (porn at breakfast, the Christmas prezzies, the toe-nail of terror) go a long way to making this film so strong. Its obviously low budget and occasionally weak acting actually help to make it believable. The points it raises along the way, about how easy it is for people to disappear, are as chilling as the gore and the torture. Similarities to the crimes of Fred and Rosemary West are there if you want them, which might put off some potential viewers. I wouldn’t blame them: Mum & Dad is not much fun, but it’s thrilling and disturbing, and very hard to forget.

The Reeds(2010)

Curious movie this one, and one defiantly not to be taken on face value. Director Nick Cohen has created a beautiful looking film with storyline which can leave your mind tangled and disturbed, questioning reality of time, motive and ethics. Somewhat Lynchian in its un-telling approach to cohesive storyline, it will leave you questioning character actions and frame time for some time after your viewing. It's certainly left me wanting to view again to try to uncover further hidden meaning, something missed on the first event.

The plot, as far as can be explained rationally, follows a group of friends on a weekend boating trip in the Fens; a part of the UK which is mainly marsh land with plenty of reeds for things to hide in. The trip is plagued by some temperament of characters, aggravated by some creepy teens hanging out in the reeds causing bother. So this all sounds straightforward; Unruly youths cause trouble with holidaying city folk. Ala Deliverance, Chainsaw, Eden Lake etc. But here we have something different. Once out in the reeds, strange things begin to happen. Time is not as it seems and actions happen out of kilter and this humble film of `happy-slappy' turns into an ambitious ghost story with some memorable spooky scenes.

The main cast here as regular TV actors from the British screens. Some are much better than others but over all, I was surprised at the overall collective ability. Some I've disliked in the past, but certainly won me over here. Notable, Will Mellor, Karl Ashman, Emma Catherwood and Scarlett Alice Johnson. Great performances from Geoff Bell and Anna Brewster. Hats off to Dennis Madden as DP for making the film look glorious and atmospheric which truly is the films strength. The plot does go astray at times but as long as it looks great, I'm willing to see it through and think about connotations and relevance later.

Another important point to mention here is the films moral conundrum which leaves the viewer questioning whose in the right or wrong here. A recluse tormented by youths acts outside of the law. Is this favourable? Are we sympathetic towards the tormentors, now victims? Plenty of room for debate here and defiantly not a straightforward run of the mill film. 

Zombies of Mass Destruction - 2009

Zombies, fun with a political slant?

The movie actually was pretty fun, the humor was great (from Archie Bunker ridiculous, to parody like the Simpsons), and the story seemed pretty cool. Basically a zombie outbreak occurs, started by an Islamic terrorist group, and then the island goes into total chaos with jokes created within the extremes of the caricatures themselves. The main jokes focus around the misunderstanding of the teenage girl's heritage and how the typical "dumb" American doesn't know the difference between a middle eastern American and a Middle Easterner. Also, the gay couple gets it good from "right wing" crazies even though a zombie outbreak is occurring. Anyone that happens to be on the right of the political spectrum are turned into either evil people or the typical uneducated religious, political, or sportman crazy. Anyone on the left of spectrum are turned into stereotypical ethnics, gays, or hippies. The only likeable character out of the whole film is actually the teenage girl who is the type of person you'd see at any McDonald's eating a burger with her boyfriend; in other words, completely normal.

I loved this film when I watched it but looking back I slowly grew to not like it as much as I originally thought. I guess making everyone a "joke" and throwing in the political/religious aspects of intolerance and showing the "bad" in people makes it not as enjoyable or even as funny as I thought. And again, the point of the film was to show the "bad" in people but the "bad" that was shown was more of the exception and not more of the rule as the director/screenwriters presented. So as a result, I have a bad taste in my mouth. The funny aspects were more ripping the right-from-center folks and not seeing the gray in both political sides of the table but simply the black and white.

Would I recommend this film? Sure, watch it and you'll either love it, hate it, or feel as I do. It really all depends on where you are politically. If you are on the left, you'll love it. If you are on the right, you'll hate it. If you think both right and left are flawed but neither are "evil" as the film makers show, then you'll probably be right where I am. But then again, if you go into this film and try your very hardest to overlook the stereotypes of the characters and any political statement presented, you may get a good enjoyable experience.


AB

Twilight - New Moon

Reviewed by Andy B

Twilight - New Moon? New shit, same bollocks!

Rubbish.

Tokyo Gore Police

A film review by Brian Chen - Copyright © 2008 Filmcritic.com

A man's bitten-off penis turns into a cannon that he uses to shoot cops. Seriously -- this happens in one scene of Tokyo Gore Police. And it just gets worse. Remember the horrible nightmare you had after eating that funky brownie that one night? It's kind of like that -- on screen.

Japanese gore doesn't get more over-the-top and perverse than this. In my review of The Machine Girl (which happens to be made by the same team as Police), I mentioned there was enough blood spraying in the movie to fill a swimming pool. In Police, there's enough blood to fill the Grand Canyon. There's one pretty messed up scene where police officers tie a woman's arms and legs to the bumpers of their SUVs, and they each hit the gas and yank her apart. Jesus Christ.

Oh yeah, so the plot. The movie's about a group of mutated humans called Engineers. The mutation allows them to create weapons out of their wounds -- hence the man with the penis cannon. There's also a female Engineer who, after getting her breasts sliced off, begins lactating acid, burning the flesh off her victims. OK, I'm sure you get the picture.

The Tokyo police have become a privatized force specializing in hunting down said Engineers. And, well, that's pretty much all you have to know about the plot. The movie clearly isn't concerned with story, and the characters aren't all that important; the film's goal is to ensure each bloody execution tops the one preceding it. And in that way,Police succeeds (if you're into the whole idea of setting your own goals and achieving them, I guess).

Police will indubitably get you wondering, "Just what is wrong with the Japanese?" I assure you the directors of such films are not insane; movies like Police always contain some artistic meaning (I think). If I remember correctly from my history classes in college -- when General Douglas MacArthur conquered Japan in 1945, he imposed many sets of rules to oppress and repress the Japanese. One law, for example, prohibited the display of genitalia in any form of media. How did the Japanese react? They found ways to circumvent the rules. Think anime porn (aka hentai). Going way, way over the top in Japanese gore films is another way directors respond to repression. Nowadays, despite how revolting such films can be to some American audiences, this genre is more a form of social commentary than rebellion.

With that said, Police is pretty darn intense when it comes to getting its message across. There's plenty of comedic relief (albeit extremely satiric) to get you through most of the film, but sometimes the bloodshed goes on for such long stretches you'll find yourself looking away to keep last night's supper in your stomach.

If you haven't seen a Japanese gore film before, Police is probably the only one you'll ever have to watch to satiate your curiosity. It's not a horrible film; it's not a great film; it's just everything it tries to be -- perverse, grotesque, bizarre -- and a little more. Check it out, but this time don't order popcorn: You'll want to watch this movie on an empty belly.

Black Water -David Nerlich (2008)

Watchable crocky horror flick that makes the most of its low budget and simple set-up, though the characters aren't especially engaging and you keep hoping they'll get eaten.
What's it all about?
Based on true events, Black Water stars Diana Glenn as Grace, a young woman who heads off on a road trip in northern Australia with her boyfriend Adam (Andy Rodoreda) and her little sister Lee (Maeve Dermody). The trio take a river tour of an isolated mangrove in the Outback, but things go horribly wrong when a ferocious crocodile capsizes their boat and eats their guide (Ben Oxenbould).

Panic-stricken, Grace, Lee and Adam all take refuge in a tree and try to find some way of getting back to the upturned boat. However, the crocodile is still hungry and settles in for a long wait.
The Good
Black Water (not to be confused with Dark Water or Open Water) is part of the burgeoning sub-genre of Don't-Go-To-Australia-Or-You-Will-Be-KILLEDmovies that also includes the likes of Gone and Wolf Creek. However, the fact that it's based on true events doesn't really add anything here, other than to hammer home the fact that yes, crocodiles do eat people.

Given that almost the entire movie takes place in a swamp-bound tree, Black Water is surprisingly suspenseful, largely thanks to the filmmakers' decision not to show the crocodile for the first half of the film. For the second half, co-writer-directors Nerlich and Traucki come up with a number of nail-biting ways to force the characters into the water and the commendably non-CGI croc is used sparingly to increasingly tense effect.
The Bad
The only real problem is that the characters aren't especially engaging and an attempt to add depth to Grace feels shoe-horned in and doesn't really work. Basically, by the end of the fim, you'll pretty much be rooting for the crocodile.
Worth seeing?
This is an effectively claustrophobic horror flick that delivers plenty of croc-based suspense. Worth seeing.