Twilight - New Moon? New shit, same bollocks!
Rubbish.
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Tuesday 9 March 2010
Tokyo Gore Police
A man's bitten-off penis turns into a cannon that he uses to shoot cops. Seriously -- this happens in one scene of Tokyo Gore Police. And it just gets worse. Remember the horrible nightmare you had after eating that funky brownie that one night? It's kind of like that -- on screen.
Japanese gore doesn't get more over-the-top and perverse than this. In my review of The Machine Girl (which happens to be made by the same team as Police), I mentioned there was enough blood spraying in the movie to fill a swimming pool. In Police, there's enough blood to fill the Grand Canyon. There's one pretty messed up scene where police officers tie a woman's arms and legs to the bumpers of their SUVs, and they each hit the gas and yank her apart. Jesus Christ.
Oh yeah, so the plot. The movie's about a group of mutated humans called Engineers. The mutation allows them to create weapons out of their wounds -- hence the man with the penis cannon. There's also a female Engineer who, after getting her breasts sliced off, begins lactating acid, burning the flesh off her victims. OK, I'm sure you get the picture.
The Tokyo police have become a privatized force specializing in hunting down said Engineers. And, well, that's pretty much all you have to know about the plot. The movie clearly isn't concerned with story, and the characters aren't all that important; the film's goal is to ensure each bloody execution tops the one preceding it. And in that way,Police succeeds (if you're into the whole idea of setting your own goals and achieving them, I guess).
Police will indubitably get you wondering, "Just what is wrong with the Japanese?" I assure you the directors of such films are not insane; movies like Police always contain some artistic meaning (I think). If I remember correctly from my history classes in college -- when General Douglas MacArthur conquered Japan in 1945, he imposed many sets of rules to oppress and repress the Japanese. One law, for example, prohibited the display of genitalia in any form of media. How did the Japanese react? They found ways to circumvent the rules. Think anime porn (aka hentai). Going way, way over the top in Japanese gore films is another way directors respond to repression. Nowadays, despite how revolting such films can be to some American audiences, this genre is more a form of social commentary than rebellion.
With that said, Police is pretty darn intense when it comes to getting its message across. There's plenty of comedic relief (albeit extremely satiric) to get you through most of the film, but sometimes the bloodshed goes on for such long stretches you'll find yourself looking away to keep last night's supper in your stomach.
If you haven't seen a Japanese gore film before, Police is probably the only one you'll ever have to watch to satiate your curiosity. It's not a horrible film; it's not a great film; it's just everything it tries to be -- perverse, grotesque, bizarre -- and a little more. Check it out, but this time don't order popcorn: You'll want to watch this movie on an empty belly.
Japanese gore doesn't get more over-the-top and perverse than this. In my review of The Machine Girl (which happens to be made by the same team as Police), I mentioned there was enough blood spraying in the movie to fill a swimming pool. In Police, there's enough blood to fill the Grand Canyon. There's one pretty messed up scene where police officers tie a woman's arms and legs to the bumpers of their SUVs, and they each hit the gas and yank her apart. Jesus Christ.
Oh yeah, so the plot. The movie's about a group of mutated humans called Engineers. The mutation allows them to create weapons out of their wounds -- hence the man with the penis cannon. There's also a female Engineer who, after getting her breasts sliced off, begins lactating acid, burning the flesh off her victims. OK, I'm sure you get the picture.
The Tokyo police have become a privatized force specializing in hunting down said Engineers. And, well, that's pretty much all you have to know about the plot. The movie clearly isn't concerned with story, and the characters aren't all that important; the film's goal is to ensure each bloody execution tops the one preceding it. And in that way,Police succeeds (if you're into the whole idea of setting your own goals and achieving them, I guess).
Police will indubitably get you wondering, "Just what is wrong with the Japanese?" I assure you the directors of such films are not insane; movies like Police always contain some artistic meaning (I think). If I remember correctly from my history classes in college -- when General Douglas MacArthur conquered Japan in 1945, he imposed many sets of rules to oppress and repress the Japanese. One law, for example, prohibited the display of genitalia in any form of media. How did the Japanese react? They found ways to circumvent the rules. Think anime porn (aka hentai). Going way, way over the top in Japanese gore films is another way directors respond to repression. Nowadays, despite how revolting such films can be to some American audiences, this genre is more a form of social commentary than rebellion.
With that said, Police is pretty darn intense when it comes to getting its message across. There's plenty of comedic relief (albeit extremely satiric) to get you through most of the film, but sometimes the bloodshed goes on for such long stretches you'll find yourself looking away to keep last night's supper in your stomach.
If you haven't seen a Japanese gore film before, Police is probably the only one you'll ever have to watch to satiate your curiosity. It's not a horrible film; it's not a great film; it's just everything it tries to be -- perverse, grotesque, bizarre -- and a little more. Check it out, but this time don't order popcorn: You'll want to watch this movie on an empty belly.
Black Water -David Nerlich (2008)
Watchable crocky horror flick that makes the most of its low budget and simple set-up, though the characters aren't especially engaging and you keep hoping they'll get eaten.
What's it all about?
Based on true events, Black Water stars Diana Glenn as Grace, a young woman who heads off on a road trip in northern Australia with her boyfriend Adam (Andy Rodoreda) and her little sister Lee (Maeve Dermody). The trio take a river tour of an isolated mangrove in the Outback, but things go horribly wrong when a ferocious crocodile capsizes their boat and eats their guide (Ben Oxenbould).
Panic-stricken, Grace, Lee and Adam all take refuge in a tree and try to find some way of getting back to the upturned boat. However, the crocodile is still hungry and settles in for a long wait.
The Good
Black Water (not to be confused with Dark Water or Open Water) is part of the burgeoning sub-genre of Don't-Go-To-Australia-Or-You-Will-Be-KILLEDmovies that also includes the likes of Gone and Wolf Creek. However, the fact that it's based on true events doesn't really add anything here, other than to hammer home the fact that yes, crocodiles do eat people.
Given that almost the entire movie takes place in a swamp-bound tree, Black Water is surprisingly suspenseful, largely thanks to the filmmakers' decision not to show the crocodile for the first half of the film. For the second half, co-writer-directors Nerlich and Traucki come up with a number of nail-biting ways to force the characters into the water and the commendably non-CGI croc is used sparingly to increasingly tense effect.
The Bad
The only real problem is that the characters aren't especially engaging and an attempt to add depth to Grace feels shoe-horned in and doesn't really work. Basically, by the end of the fim, you'll pretty much be rooting for the crocodile.
Worth seeing?
This is an effectively claustrophobic horror flick that delivers plenty of croc-based suspense. Worth seeing.
What's it all about?
Based on true events, Black Water stars Diana Glenn as Grace, a young woman who heads off on a road trip in northern Australia with her boyfriend Adam (Andy Rodoreda) and her little sister Lee (Maeve Dermody). The trio take a river tour of an isolated mangrove in the Outback, but things go horribly wrong when a ferocious crocodile capsizes their boat and eats their guide (Ben Oxenbould).
Panic-stricken, Grace, Lee and Adam all take refuge in a tree and try to find some way of getting back to the upturned boat. However, the crocodile is still hungry and settles in for a long wait.
The Good
Black Water (not to be confused with Dark Water or Open Water) is part of the burgeoning sub-genre of Don't-Go-To-Australia-Or-You-Will-Be-KILLEDmovies that also includes the likes of Gone and Wolf Creek. However, the fact that it's based on true events doesn't really add anything here, other than to hammer home the fact that yes, crocodiles do eat people.
Given that almost the entire movie takes place in a swamp-bound tree, Black Water is surprisingly suspenseful, largely thanks to the filmmakers' decision not to show the crocodile for the first half of the film. For the second half, co-writer-directors Nerlich and Traucki come up with a number of nail-biting ways to force the characters into the water and the commendably non-CGI croc is used sparingly to increasingly tense effect.
The Bad
The only real problem is that the characters aren't especially engaging and an attempt to add depth to Grace feels shoe-horned in and doesn't really work. Basically, by the end of the fim, you'll pretty much be rooting for the crocodile.
Worth seeing?
This is an effectively claustrophobic horror flick that delivers plenty of croc-based suspense. Worth seeing.
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